© 2002 Ray Adam Latiolais
There was a flash and a thud like thunder and lightning, yet it hadn’t rained for days. The lights flickered. Curiouser and curiouser. But not curiouser enough to take me away from watching Justice League.
There was a really cool slithery noise the aliens made when they tried to suck Batman’s brain out. I really liked it, almost as much as the Godzilla noise. Then I realized that noise wasn’t coming from the television. It was coming from the back yard. I grabbed the shotgun (I live in Louisiana, okay?) and headed outside.
There was a smoking hole in the middle of my backyard. There was something in it that glowed an eerie phosphorescent blue. As I eased up on the hole I noticed that a trail of some kind lead from the hole to my house. I peeked over the edge of the hole. The glow emanated from an egg shaped object that lay broken open at the bottom of the hole. The trail that lead to the house was covered with something viscous that glistened in the autumn moonlight. I heard that noise again. It didn’t sound as cool as it did earlier. There was something under the house. Louisiana, remember? No basements and everything is built 2 to 3 feet off of the ground. It looked to be the size of a large dog. I don’t have a dog.
I approached the house slowly and spoke the soothing nonsense that one uses to calm animals. The shape quivered a bit. Then that noise again. The shape under the house moved with blinding speed. I caught a glimpse of a leech-like mouth and tentacles. Then one of the tentacles struck the back of my neck and pierced my skull with surgical precision.
Everything is fine now. Don’t worry. You’ll hardly feel a thing.