Mala Fide dotcom

It’s not humor, it’s satire. It’s only funny on accident.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

30 APR 03

From Merriam-Webster.

Peculate

Pronunciation: ‘pe-ky&-“lAt

Function: transitive verb

Inflected Form(s): -lat·ed; -lat·ing

Etymology: Latin peculatus, past participle of peculari, from peculium: a bit of money, a small property.

Date: 1802

: EMBEZZLE

– pec·u·la·tion – /”pe-ky&-‘lA-sh&n – noun

– pec·u·la·tor – ‘pe-ky&-“lA-t&r – noun

We are looking for an overseas partner into whose account the sum of US$31,000,000.00 will be paid by telegraphic transfer.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

29 APR 03

Things Ray Says #16:

"It wasn’t me. It was my good twin."

(Insert rimshot here.)

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, April 28, 2003

28 APR 03

"Moral principle is a looser bond than pecuniary interest."

Abraham Lincoln

Iloinen Maanantai!

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Saturday, April 26, 2003

26-27 APR 03

The Memphis Zoo received a pair of Giant Pandas. The pandas are named Le Le and Ya Ya. If I hadn’t heard about it on All Things Considered, I wouldn’t have realized that they were Cajun pandas.

Mais, you put that bamboo in your gumbo, ‘ti. Talk about good, bruh.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Friday, April 25, 2003

25 APR 03

A card trick.

I’m right handed and wrote the instructions that way. If you’re left handed, swap hands.

The effect of this sleight is that a card...

The effect of this sleight is that a card…

...appears to magically rise out of the deck.

…appears to magically rise out of the deck.

Hold the deck in your left hand with the bottom card facing your audience. Grip the deck in a manner that allows the top card will slide freely. Place your right index finger on top of the deck. When your right hand is hidden behind the deck extend your right pinky and hold its tip against the back of the top card.

Hold the deck in your left hand with the bottom card facing your audience. Grip the deck in a manner that allows the top card will slide freely. Place your right index finger on top of the deck. When your right hand is hidden behind the deck extend your right pinky and hold its tip against the back of the top card.

Push the top card up with your pinky tip. It can be raised and lowered in this manner. From the audience's point of view the card appears to rise unaided from the deck and return.

Push the top card up with your pinky tip. It can be raised and lowered in this manner. From the audience’s point of view the card appears to rise unaided from the deck and return.

Keep your movements smooth and natural. Practicing with a mirror will allow you to see the sleight from the audience’s point of view. Speaking while performing (magicians call this “running patter”) will further distract the audience from the fraud that you’re perpetrating before their eyes.

Portions of this post have been brought to you by means of electronic transcription.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Thursday, April 24, 2003

24 APR 03

My mother and her sisters had to take a bus to another town to attend junior high and high school. Mr. Hebert drove the bus for a long time. My grandfather once asked Mr. Hebert if the kids ever gave him trouble. Mr. Hebert said that occasionally they would act up, but if any trouble started he would stop the bus, open the door, and tell the kids to take it outside. They would usually settle down and the bus would soon be on its way.

Mr. Hebert also said that the one time that this didn’t work was with my Aunt Loquacious (my Loquacious Sister is named for her). Aunt Loquacious had gotten into a fight with a set of twins. The twins’ mother would become my grandfather’s second wife; small world. Mr. Hebert used his standard tactic and expected things to settle down. Don’t expect things to settle down with Aunt Loquacious. She hopped off of the bus and told Mr. Hebert:

"Let ’em off one at a time! I’ll whip both their asses!"

Bring it on!

posted by latiolais at 0800  
Next Page »

Powered by WordPress
©2002-2011 Ray Adam Latiolais