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Where there’s a Evil Ray, there’s an evil way.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

23 APR 03

From Merriam-Webster.

Inenarrable

Pronunciation: “i-ni-‘nar-&-b&l

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin inenarrabilis, from in- + enarrare: to explain in detail, from e- + narrare: to narrate

Date: 15th century

: incapable of being narrated : INDESCRIBABLE

So, she was, like, all, y’know, and then they were, like, all…

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

22 APR 03

Things Ray Says #15:

"Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?"

(Insert rimshot here.)

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, April 21, 2003

21 APR 03

"There are occasions when it is undoubtedly better to incur loss than to make gain."

Titus Maccius Plautus

ευτυχισμένος Δευτέρα!

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Friday, April 18, 2003

18-20 APR 03

Mwooohahahaaaa!

How to Be a Villain

Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!

By Neil Zawacki

Illustrations by James Dignan

ISBN 0811846660

Set in a textbook format, this new book from Chronicle Books is a must for any evil library. It’s chock full of basic tips for the beginning evildoer. Choosing an evil name, effective marketing (although I don’t think that a blackguard really needs a jingle),career paths, objectives, the strange habits of heroes, types of do-gooders and how to thwart them, tools of the trade, choosing a lair, minions and henchmen, fashion tips, and an evil plan generator. In short, it has everything the apprentice malefactor needs to embark on a career of terror and mayhem.

If you know a child whose friends keep ending up at the bottom of a well, a teen who wears a lot of black, or anyone who’s just plain vile, this book would make an excellent birthday gift. They may spare your life when their evil plan comes to fruition.

Tiny SkullTiny SkullTiny SkullTiny Skull

– Four Tiny Skulls out of five.

"Even if you long to use your excruciatingly slow hourglass death device, resist the urge. Heroes typically escape this kind of situation."

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Thursday, April 17, 2003

17 APR 03

The Evil Overlord List is an indispensable guide for anyone attempting to achieve global domination.

My ten favorites from "The Top 100 Things I’d Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" are:

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

"Submit or be destroyed." That’s my motto.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

16 APR 03

From Merriam-Webster.

Impecunious

Pronunciation: “im-pi-‘kyü-ny&s, -nE-&s

Function: adjective

Etymology: in- + obsolete English pecunious: rich, from Middle English, from Latin pecuniosus, from pecunia: money — more at FEE

Date: 1596

: having very little or no money, usually habitually : PENNILESS

im·pe·cu·ni·os·i·ty /-“kyü-nE-‘ä-s&-tE/ – noun

im·pe·cu·nious·ly – adverb

im·pe·cu·nious·ness – noun

Taxes? I live in Taxes.

posted by latiolais at 0800  
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