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The end of the world as I know it will occur at 1000 CST (that’ll be 1600 GMT) on Saturday 31 JAN 04. The Sci Fi channel will drop Mystery Science Theatre 3000 from its lineup and MST3K (now cancelled but living in reruns) will be off the air after more that a decade. MST3K (with a sausage McGriddle™ and a gianormous mocha) has been the centerpiece of my weekend, if not my entire week, since I moved to Houston. Prior to that I only saw the show when visiting my Smart Sister in New Orleans or Houston, but I’ve enjoyed MST3K for a very long time. I am truly distraught.

The last episode will be #912, The Screaming Skull and a Gumby short. The Gumby short is great and the main feature is solid episode. An Eisenhower era bit of lingere shows up a lot in this episode. It looks like a ball gown with an armored bust, topped by a flowing robe with shoulder pads. It must have been made by Frederick’s of Pentecostalism. I would have prefered to see #816, The Prince of Space, but beggars and all. #816 is a Japanese classic in which young children in frighteningly tiny shorts have amazing access to all levels of the Japanese government and scientific community, the world is saved by a wispy bachelor, and features a great riff:

“Oh, the Japanity!” – Crow T. Robot

“Oh, the inanity!” – Mike Nelson

The mere fact that there are people who think like that makes the world a better place.

Now what am I going to do?

"I’m different!" – Crow T. Robot

Utilikilts has introduced two new kilt styles, the Survival kilt and the Mocker. As exciting as The Management’s life would not doubt be in a Survival kilt, we passed and got a Mocker instead. Although we forgot to order the modesty snaps, we are one very happy Braveheart.

The Mocker is identical in to the Original Utilikilt (which we have reviewed), but instead of the saddle bag cargo pockets it has trouser style pockets. This gives the Mocker a more adult look than the Original’s cargo pants style, and makes it a better daily wear replacement for us old folks. With jacket, tie, and a well polished pair of boots the Mocker would work as well in a formal setting as it does in business. In short, the Mocker Utilikilt is exactly what we have been looking for in pants replacement.

We have to mention one thing about the kilt; it’s not a problem or even a quibble, we just find it amusing. The front pockets are deep. Very deep. Embarrassingly deep. They start in the same place they would on trousers, but they slant more and terminate in the center of the apron, just below the crotch. Anything placed in the pockets is not falling out. A good feature. But taking items out requires reaching inside the kilt and deep into ones lap. To some it may look as if one might be enjoying oneself more than one should in public. Smile at them.

- The Management gives Mocker Utilikilt 5 Tiny Skulls.

I’m too sexy for my pants…

The Unfact™ Of The Week.

The Unfact™ is, to the best of our knowledge, completely false and unsupportable. We are not responsible for any consequences that are bound to occur if you are silly enough to believe it.

The first recorded game of American football was played at the 1887 state fair in Corn Shuck, Nebraska. It was a last minute substitute for the greased pig contest.

I won’t make any corny jokes about pigskins.

Things Ray Says #54:

“An ideology is not a haircut. A haircut is not an ideology.”

(Insert rimshot here.)