Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the USA. Here’s my list. The inevitable zombie apocalypse still weighs heavy my mind.
No zombie outbreak this year…so far.
The Swiss still haven’t destroyed the world.
The balloon assault on the USA failed.
A healthy diet and wardrobe.
An educator who has the meeps to make those meeping kids clean up their meeping language.
Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
Abe Vigoda is still not dead.
I’m not this guy.
And, always Bettie Page!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I made this thing. Hope it’s useful.
Unholy gas, rabid immolation, ripping growth of extraneous nipple…
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Unfact™ is, to the best of our knowledge, completely false and unsupportable. We are not responsible for any consequences that are bound to occur if you are silly enough to believe it.
The Franco-Iberian-British-German-Monégasque-Scandinavian-Italian-Benelux War of 1928 lasted for 46 minutes before a peace treaty was brokered, and is considered, by some historians, to be World War I½
Denken Sie an die … warten, egal.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Open a hip, new timezone and exclude someone from it.
Add a new month and argue about who to name it for.
International Nude Sunbathing Week. Not you, though.
A 48 hour work week.
Vampire eradication. (Thanks, Mr. Mancour.)
dolphin tuna fishing season.
An 8 day week, if Sir Paul and Yoko will allow.
Expand the Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest to Macaronesia, Scandinavia, and the former USSR.
Keep Ed Begley, Jr. on the road.
Around the clock Women’s Beach Volleyball.
But then, the Lingerie Football League works better at night.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday evening I bought a 32GB iPhone 3GS. I spent Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday morning working with it, and returned it on Sunday afternoon. I was seriously underwhelmed.
Here’s a short list of other things that are wrong with me:
• I don’t play or watch sports. Except for women’s beach volleyball and women’s beach volleyball.
• I don’t like Billie Holiday. Of course hearing David Sedaris’ impersonation would put anyone off of her.
• I don’t take advice. I will generally do the opposite of what’s recommended; it’s an ethnic trait.
• I don’t have a political party. All of them are clubs for crazy people.
• I don’t really have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I only pretend to have it to pick up chicks.
Also, I’ve never seen ‘E.T.’, but I don’t count this as a failing.