Mala Fide dotcom

I'm an iron-tongued devil, I am.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Twittering on a fencepost in March

These are my best twits for the month of March as selected by me, who ought to know. I use the Twitter to give my inner commentary an outlet. It’s more fun than screaming.

I like marking the “Plotting” box on my in/out board.
2:50 PM Mar 4th

Any dream that involves a shopping mall is a nightmare.
3:17 AM Mar 5th

US rodeos strike me as a largely Protestant ventures, so rodeo clowns probably don’t have a patron saint.
10:38 AM Mar 10th

It’s more poor typing than poor spelling. Once slate PCs become the norm I will RULE the written word.
12:29 PM Mar 13th

Mrs. King is going to espresso me. What a doll. I take back all the bad stuff I said about her.
1:02 PM Mar 17th

Okay, maybe not *all* of it.
1:09 PM Mar 17th

I can tell I’m not going to like this.
7:06 AM Mar 23rd

See? I was right. Waggish pessimism always pays off.
7:56 AM Mar 23rd

I may have a Twitter problem. Is there a 12 step feed?
9:43 AM Mar 25th

That 12 step thing was trite and lame. I take it back.
10:37 AM Mar 25th

You may mock the Twitter, but keep in mind that you now pay for bottled water without a second thought. Hey…that’s pretty good. I should, like, Twitter that.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, March 23, 2009

Aw…crud!

From Merriam-Webster.

Recrudescence

Pronunciation: \-ˈde-sən(t)s\

Function: noun

Date: circa 1721

: a new outbreak after a period of abatement or inactivity : RENEWAL (a recrudescence of the symptoms) (a recrudescence of guerrilla warfare)

Did you miss me?

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Unfact™ of the Month

The Unfact™ is, to the best of our knowledge, completely false and unsupportable. We are not responsible for any consequences that are bound to occur if you are silly enough to believe it.

Saint Patrick changed his name (after an earlier St. Patrick) on entering the priesthood. Born in France, he was originally Samuel DeJaques, or Samuel Jaques’ son.

Enough is enough! I have HAD it with these muthaf*ckin’ snakes on this muthaf*ckin’ island!

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Sunday, March 15, 2009

That’s all I can stands!

Caesar: Who is it in the press that calls on me?
I hear a tongue, shriller than all the music
Cry "Caesar!" Speak. Caesar is turn’d to hear.

Soothsayer: Beware the ides of March.

Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico Caeser?

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, March 9, 2009

Springing forward

Okay, now y’all listen carefully; Ben Franklin was kidding, for Elvis’ sake! Read it yourself. It’s a satire, so stop blaming him for Daylight Thieving Time. It’s really William Willett’s fault. He was British and deserves our spite in any case.

I’ve saved up enough daylight to last until, like, Veteran’s Day.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Sunday, March 8, 2009

For, like, your self-phone

This blog is now browsable by mobile devices. Because you just can’t get enough of the Ray.

Reach out and text someone.

posted by latiolais at 0800  
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