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I've lost the game.

Monday, April 13, 2009

大怪獣!

Giant monster fighting tip : Electricity only annoys them.

Giant monster fighting tip : Assume it can fly, or at least jump very well.

Giant monster fighting tip : If its eyes are still glowing, it’s playing possum.

Giant monster fighting tip : Tokyo will be heavily damaged. Tokyo Tower will be destroyed. Accept it and move on.

Giant monster fighting tip : Someone will make a mechanical double, and the mechanical double will lose the fight.

Giant monster fighting tip : If the hands, or their equivalent, come near the mouth, or its equivalent, it’s about to launch a breath, or its equivalent, attack.

Giant monster fighting tip : It doesn’t matter if they’re from outer space, a lost undersea civilization, or the future, white folks are trouble.

Giant monster fighting tip : Listen to the little fairy twins, darn it, they know what they’re talking about.

Giant monster fighting tip : Unfortunately, Kenny, the annoying kid in the disturbingly tiny shorts who claims the monster is a friend of his, also knows what he’s talking about.

Giant monster fighting tip : There’s no place on Earth that isn’t within swimming distance of Monster Island.

Gamera is a friend to children everywhere, but that won’t stop him from stomping a prefecture or two.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

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