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mala fide: (Late Latin) With or in bad faith, treacherously.

Friday, February 14, 2003

14 FEB 03

I don’t like to give my name to people I’ve just met because too many of them overuse it in a forced attempt to create a bond between us. These people seem to have mistaken "friendly" for "polite". It makes me feel as if they’re trying to sucker me in and sell me something and quite often they are. I’ve taken my great-grandfather’s advice and started lying.

In, let’s call them "official", official situations (work, doctor’s appointments, dealing with the police, et alia) I do give my name when asked, but otherwise I just make something up. The names of the characters from South Park (Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny) are good because they’re fairly generic without being obvious about it.

I do this most often at cafés because my espresso habit forces me to visit them daily. I choose a name before I enter and give it to the barrista at the register when prompted. They take names to make sure we get the proper orders and they want to be friendly about it. Taking a number would be too impersonal.

Very often I’ll be misheard. Over the last week I’ve used "Stan" in two different Starbucks but been (copiously) addressed as "Dan" in both. "Aaron" was taken as "Dana", "Stu" was heard as "Steve", and "Oscar" as "Michael". Some barristas recognize me and call me by a name I gave them months ago. At the Starbucks attached to the local B&N I’m "Carl".

Of course all of this could be avoided if everyone just addressed me as "Sir".

"They call me MISTER Tibbs!"

posted by latiolais at 0800  

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