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I'm an iron-tongued devil, I am.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

29 AUG 02

Yesterday I managed to get lost for about an hour and a half in deepest Houston. During my excursion I spotted an airport control tower. In this area it meant I was either near Hobby Airport or Ellington Field. Since I’ve never been to Hobby, I was hoping for Ellington because if it were, I was no longer lost. In sight of the tower was a place that called itself a "modeling studio". Modeling studios used to be massage parlors, i.e., I’d found a whorehouse. This lent credence to the Ellington theory because it’s a former Air Force base and still has an Air Force presence. Where there’s a camp there are camp followers. No luck though. Well, not for me, anyway. It was Hobby. Which is funnier, I suppose.

Which brings me to euphemisms.

Euphemisms are the act of substituting a vague term for a direct one. It’s the most common form of what (WARNING: CLICHÉD, PARANOID CULTURAL REFERENCE AHEAD!) George Orwell called "Newspeak". A lot of the things we hear today are the results of attempts to be pleasant and positive. A lot of it just sounds nice. I blame the self help gurus. So, please, I beg you, DO NOT, NOT EVER, use the word "proactive" again. Ever. Please also avoid "actualize" and "empower". I don’t want to have to hurt anyone…

"Homeland Security". Now there’s a euphemism waiting to happen.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

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