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Joel Robinson’s Christmas essay from Mystery Science Theater 3000 #321 – SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS.

Christmas Pasts

I’m talking about the 70’s Christmas office party.

Back when a fully-stocked bar was considered standard office furniture and office parties were like something out of a Playboy cartoon. Why, the desks would be overflowing with every kind of hard liquor. Why, there were gallons of scotch, bourbon, vodka, gin, not to mention Galliano, amaretto, Midori, rye, German crockpot gin, you name it.

And sexism was blatant. Boy oh boy, you’d find salesmen groping secretaries in the mailroom, keys would be exchanged, and although this was Christmas, Jesus was nowhere to be seen.

Happy Holidays, everybo…OH NO! WE’VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!

Things Ray Says #135

"English is open source."

(Insert rimshot here.)

Lore Sjöberg's a genius. The story of Plaid Jim.

Joyeux Christmas.

I'm not sending cards this year. Here's a groovy little sumpen'-sumpen' I created with the DFILM Maker to make up for the lapse.

Have a cool Yüle, babies.

It's genetic.

It's a dominant gene.

Apparently we've all been touched by His noodly appendage but didn't know it. And I always thought that pirates were cool, now I know just how cool.

Ramen, siblings. Ramen.