Mala Fide dotcom

'Social contract'? I didn't sign anything.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The War on Christmas begins today!

It’s time for Mala Fide dotcom’s winter holiday hiatus. With Darwin as my witness, The Holidays will be celebrated in a secular manner.

Joyeux Christmice

Happy Kwanzadanukahülemastivus and Bonne Année!

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, November 23, 2009

Things to be thankful for (2009)

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the USA. Here’s my list. The inevitable zombie apocalypse still weighs heavy my mind.

No zombie outbreak this year…so far.

Social notworking.

The Swiss still haven’t destroyed the world.

The balloon assault on the USA failed.

A healthy diet and wardrobe.


An educator who has the meeps to make those meeping kids clean up their meeping language.

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Abe Vigoda is still not dead.

I’m not this guy.

And, always Bettie Page!

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, November 16, 2009

Ways to die

I made this thing. Hope it’s useful.

Unholy gas, rabid immolation, ripping growth of extraneous nipple…

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Unfact™ of the Month

The Unfact™ is, to the best of our knowledge, completely false and unsupportable. We are not responsible for any consequences that are bound to occur if you are silly enough to believe it.

The Franco-Iberian-British-German-Monégasque-Scandinavian-Italian-Benelux War of 1928 lasted for 46 minutes before a peace treaty was brokered, and is considered, by some historians, to be World War I½

Denken Sie an die … warten, egal.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, November 2, 2009

Things to do with all the daylight we’ve saved

Open a hip, new timezone and exclude someone from it.

Add a new month and argue about who to name it for.

International Nude Sunbathing Week. Not you, though.

A 48 hour work week.

Vampire eradication. (Thanks, Mr. Mancour.)

Extend dolphin tuna fishing season.

An 8 day week, if Sir Paul and Yoko will allow.

Expand the Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest to Macaronesia, Scandinavia, and the former USSR.

Keep Ed Begley, Jr. on the road.

Around the clock Women’s Beach Volleyball.

But then, the Lingerie Football League works better at night.

posted by latiolais at 0800  

Monday, October 26, 2009

It’s a shame about Ray

Friday evening I bought a 32GB iPhone 3GS. I spent Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday morning working with it, and returned it on Sunday afternoon. I was seriously underwhelmed.

Here’s a short list of other things that are wrong with me:

• I don’t play or watch sports. Except for women’s beach volleyball and women’s beach volleyball.

• I don’t like Billie Holiday. Of course hearing David Sedaris’ impersonation would put anyone off of her.

• I don’t take advice. I will generally do the opposite of what’s recommended; it’s an ethnic trait.

• I don’t have a political party. All of them are clubs for crazy people.

• I don’t really have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I only pretend to have it to pick up chicks.

Also, I’ve never seen ‘E.T.’, but I don’t count this as a failing.

posted by latiolais at 0800  
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